I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
