your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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