His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize