Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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