I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
