so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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