I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
