i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
