Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
