Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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