Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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