we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
