Umm I'm too high to move.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize