i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
