I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
