We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
should my penis look like a turkey
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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