I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
