I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
