sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize