I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
