Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
