quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
now i know why i became what i already was.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
