dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
