my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
