I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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