Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
