i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
