You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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