There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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