Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize