also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
