You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
