the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
