hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
