Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
