I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
