My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
