porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Even the bartender felt bad for me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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