It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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