New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
