I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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