it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
