it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
