How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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