Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
