Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize