while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
