wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
birth control should be required to get into college
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
