And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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