I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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