Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
