Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
