is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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