He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
