So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
