dude i'm inner monologue high
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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