idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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