let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize