yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
