I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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