Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
