How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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