You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
