I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
