I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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