she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize