I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
