Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
