what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
