Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
