I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
