You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
