It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
