Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
