i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
